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| 7:53 p.m.-2003-10-22 I think I've mentioned before, that I have a parrot. What a surprise. A pirate. With a parrot. However, the fact and shame of the matter is, the parrot curses better and more creatively than me. I mean, sure, there's raw power in dancing around the living room, holding your stubbed toe, chanting 'fuckity fuck fuck'...and I've strung together a few beauties in actual conversation like 'cum sucking bastard of a dog fucking whore'...but really, I'm actually not much of a curser...I tend to stick with the more vanilla cussing like 'darn' and 'dagnabbit' and 'daggum'. I've even been known to ejaculate 'tarnation!' in a moment of sheer consternation. But no. I'm shown up by my parrot, who this morning, while I was busy cleaning his cage before I went to work. I told him to stop screaming. He looked right at me and said clear as a bell, "go fuck yourself". "What?" I accused, and he repeated it, "Go fuck yourself", and turned his back on me for the rest of the morning. This morning, the other half was watching TV, when the bird spouted that he was a "buttfuckface". That's right. "What?" queried the startled snuggle-unit. "Buttfuckface," announced the bird with sureity. That's right. The bird, not content with creating his own grammar structures to let us know that he's hungry, thirsty, or cold, has decided to invent his own profanities. Dammit to hell, The Captain
 The Internet's Mood: The Captain Recommends Dogcessorize 2006-08-13 - Movie Review: Monster House 2006-08-07 - Movie Review: The Descent 2006-06-09 - Movie Review: The Omen 2006-06-03 - She's here, She's here! 2006-05-22 - Blame the Cabin-Boy for playing 50 questions.
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