 |
| 9:00 p.m.-2003-09-04 Today I had a revelation. I live in a SpongeBob SquarePants universe. All of my coworkers resemble a character from SpongeBob. Mr Crabs - My boss Plankton - the state inspector that doesn't like us Sandy Cheeks - the lead tech Patrick Starfish - the fat cow Squidward - me Oh wait. Nevermind. I really don't want to go too deep into that analogy, or I won't go back to work. Ever. Instead, I'm forced to watch the local public television station and some weird Spanish violinist and his two shrieking harpy 'duetists'...singing a squeeling rendition of 'Ode to Joy'...I'm glad I'm going deaf, all the sudden. --- Oh, an amusing story for you tonight, related to me by one of my customers. She has a cat, who I will call Benny. Benny is a rather unremarkably colored brown tabby, but the love of her life. She was picking up Benny's medication, and I commented that the vet called in medication for not one, but two cats. I thought she had only one. "That's a funny story," she related, and I cringed inwardly, because she is a cat lady to the extreme, even though she has only one cat...and now, apparently, two. "I came home about a week ago, and as I walked up to the porch with the grocheries, I just about killed myself, tripping over Benny. I was so shocked it took me a minute to register that I had tripped. Over Benny." I must've given her a strange look, because she just grinned at me. "Benny has NEVER been outside. Ever. He was born in that house, and he'd never been outside, except in a carrier to go to the vet. So there was my Benny, hightailing it into the bushes! I was out all night with a flashlight, calling till I was hoarse and I cried myself to sleep. I even called in sick to work the next day, to put up 'lost cat' posters and look for him." Oh no, I thought...now, she was getting medicine for Benny, so I should've KNOWN. But. "Three days, that cat stayed out. He'd come up when I fed him, but no matter how I tried to catch him, he got away. I even tried one of those humane live traps. No go. On the evening of the third day, I finally had enough, and decided I was going to get him, or else. So we repeated the ritual. I'd call him up to the porch, and put down the food...and wait till he was in the middle of eating...and then, I pounced!" She made a pouncing gesture of her own, and then flailed about like she was having a seizure. "And I HAD him! And he fought like a wildcat." She held out her arms, still bearing the healing scars! Impressive, I thought. "And somehow, I got him back in the house. And I turned around, holding him to my chest and sobbing about having rescued my baby boy...and there was Benny. On the dryer. Staring at me. Like, 'Mom, why do you have THAT cat?'." It took me a moment to really hear what she said...because she was laughing so hard. She'd caught a /feral/ cat. A pregnant female, no less. Who looks just like Benny, and is now named something equally silly, like Penny or something. They should have kittens any day now. --- Well, there was my cutesy story for the night. Hope you kids enjoyed it! The Captain
some demented Spanish violinist playing German waltzes on an Italian violin in Dublin...tres chic  The Internet's Mood: The Captain Recommends Dogcessorize 2006-08-13 - Movie Review: Monster House 2006-08-07 - Movie Review: The Descent 2006-06-09 - Movie Review: The Omen 2006-06-03 - She's here, She's here! 2006-05-22 - Blame the Cabin-Boy for playing 50 questions.
|