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6:59 p.m.-2003-11-02

I must share with you the epitome of moronic claptrap that has disguised itself as a movie review. This isn't a movie review...this is pure, unadulterated hogwash. I hope this wasn't posted by any of my regular readers!


For me and my family, this will probably be the last Disney film we will see for a long time. Brother Bear is another attempt by Disney to foist 'non-traditional' religion and lifestyle on a largely unsuspecting public--this film was advertised as comedy, mostly how a human boy changed into a bear deals with the folly of being an animal, and the challenges of being turned back into a human.

The Captain Replies: Well, I'm terribly sorry you feel this way. I'm certain your children will watch these movies as adults, and probably wonder what your problem was with them. After all, movies are fantasy, and fantasy isn't reality. Very few things that happen in movies ever happen in real life, and frankly, I've yet to see anything as spectacular as the most benign cartoon happen in real life. Something I'm eternally grateful for. As far as I can tell from other reviews from people who actually saw this movie, they were able to quickly comprehend the basic plots of the movie without being angry that they had been somewho cheated out of what they thought was going to be the plot of the movie. I assume that you assumed that the movie was going to be a funny haha about how silly it was for a human to become an animal temporarily. It seems that your assumption was wrong, and because of this, you automatically felt a great deal of anger and frustration that the Disney Corporation failed to live up to your expectations.

However, it starts and ends as a display of New Age mysticism and Native American spiritualism that many parents will have a difficult time explaining to their kids, or may choose to ignore the conversation altogether.

The Captain Replies: You say this like it was a Bad Thing (tm). Very astute that you picked that up on your own, considering that both the narrator and the old woman shaman in the film pretty much spoon feed the concept to the audience, laying out things fair and square so the viewers understand. If the parents aren't comfortable enough to explain that those were the religous beliefs of people who died a long time ago, maybe the parents have deep seated issues of their own that haven't yet been dealt with.

The trailer heavily advertised an exchange between the Bear (voiced by Joaquin Phoenix) and "Rutt and Tuke" (the voices of Dave Thomas and Rick Moranis, of 80's MacKenzie Brothers fame) and it was one of the few points in the movie that actually got a laugh from the audience, albeit well-worn. This is where the fantasy of marketing and reality of the film diverge.

The Captain Replies: Whoah, someone here does not understand the concept of a 'teaser' trailer. People, the trailer's meant to get you in to see the movie. If you weren't smart enough to figure out from the blatant 'Native American' imagery used throughout the movie posters, the other trailers, the online advertising, you name it, that it was probably going to be about 'Native Americans'...well...you're pretty dense. If you couldn't postulate from that that there was probably going to be some mystic mumbo jumbo involved, you're doubly dense! Yeesh.

The movie focuses on a journey by a Native American boy (Kenai) becoming a man via his totem, or role of bear (love), granted to him by the female Indian village elder. (This role was revealed to the elder via mystical spirits on the top of a nearby mountain.) The boy rejects the totem, and the Native American cultural norm, after quite a bit of teasing by his brothers . He then hunts down a bear and takes its life, only to be transformed into the bear by the spirits on the mountain.

The Captain Replies: And this is different from oh....Treasure Island, where a boy becomes a man by travelling about on a ship as a cabin boy, or -- you know, I'm going to let the audience read the rest of this...it's too frustratingly funny for words anyway.

The rest of his journey throughout the film involves his slow transformation into acceptance of learning the bear "love" role and adaptation to the bear community, while befriending a small orphan cub along the way. He is also persecuted by "the monster", his second-oldest brother, Denahi , seeking to avenge the eldest brothers' death and Kenai's own perceived death by the bear. In the end, Kenai, given a choice to be returned to a human or remain a bear, chooses to remain a bear because the orphan cub "needs him."

While most people will probably not get the undertones in the film, it is an accepted practice in the gay community that there are bears (father role-players) and cubs (boy role-players). The choice of the story by Disney is suspect in this regard. That the main character receives a great deal of teasing by his brothers early on about the "love " totem, and questions about his masculinity, which force him to leave the traditional native community and transformation into another. Already in the last 12 years we have seen a focus by Disney on non-traditional religion (Lion King, Hercules, Pocahontas, Brother Bear), ritual or magic that scares the daylights out of children (Hercules, Monsters, Inc) or gay thematic material (the main character's sexual duplicity in Mulan, as well as the Chinese drag queen, voiced by Harvey Fierstein; Toy Story 2's "Stinky Pete;" and the gay couple in 2003's Good Boy ! (whose character descriptions are listed as "Wilson's Dad" and "Wilson's Other Dad") as examples. There are other examples.

Rather than deal with future proselytizing by Disney, whether overt or covert, add my name to the list of those who will avoid any Disney product in the future.


You know, from an apparently married, Christian, conservative parent, this guy seems to know a LOT about New Age mysticism, Native American spirituality, and the gay subculture. This folks, is called Trolling. It's pathetic. It's sad. It's really, really immature. It's so sad, I can't even really get into the Troll Hunting mood, having just seen a movie about how revenge doesn't leave you any better off than you were before. Trust me. Go see the movie. It's beautifully done, though the music is a bit off. It recalls some of the recent glories of the past, and yes, in that way, it's kind of derivative of earlier Disney works. But it takes its own delightful, inner warmth and goes places Disney's not bothered to go before. The Lion King was a very straight forward, there and back journey of a young man trying to run from what he was. This is a young man who's made a grave mistake, having to make the choice to face it, or face the consequences. Don't let morons who can't see past their own white noses get in your way of seeing this movie.

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